The joys of motherhood

Today I was a frazzled mom…no scratch that.  Most days I am a frazzled mom.

Years ago (yes, it feels like years already) before motherhood, I thought it was just okay to throw a quick comment or two here and there about those frazzled moms.  You know who I mean, those moms whose hair is falling out from a messy bun, squirmy baby clutched in her hips and wailing preschooler following behind both with runny noses and grimy faces.  

Back on those days I could easily come up with an answer, “hmmm probably she did not wake up early enough”, “She did not prepare the night before”, “nah, not enough discipline”, “really those are monster kids!”

Well, that frazzled mom was me this morning.  As  I dropped the little monkey at kindy, he was pulling my hair and clutching at my neck as if I am leaving him forever.  And yes complete with all the works – a runny nose because he was crying his lungs out and yogurt smudge face (probably he thinks that it’s  sunblock lotion rather than something edible)….

Consumed by  the “rawness” and “realness” of mommy guilt, I gave his teacher a call and she happily reports “Oh minutes after you left, he is  all smiles and chirpy.” Who doesn’t get frazzled with that!?!

But tonight when he sings his songs with invented lyrics and asks mommy for a kiss, I know I will again happily obliged because he really is a sweet and happy little boy… and those moments of frustration and total chaos would then be forgotten.

I’m composed, I’m in control but I just need to vent.

Keep Calm, because you are the best mom ever

And so who's the better mommy?
Image from google search

Breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, stay-at-home-moms vs. working moms, co-sleeping vs. sleep training, front-facing vs. rear-facing car seats, strollers vs. baby carriers, etc. etc. etc. and thus coined the term "mommy wars".

How often do we feel inadequate as a mom when someone gives a “well-meaning” but thoughtless remark on our parenting skill? But really, regardless of the differences in our parenting techniques or the decision to work outside the home vs staying at home, we all know one thing,every mom makes the best choice for her family given their circumstances. This is to say that we are all keenly aware that no one has the "perfect" setup. No mother is absolutely certain she is doing the right thing all the time.

And so, if we are yet fed again, be it in the media or well-meaning friends of another story of working mothers vs stay-at-home mothers, breast-fed or bottle-fed, self-soothing or attachment parenting (the list goes on and on) and who is doing it better, even the most self-assured mother can feel a little fragile at times.

But quite frankly, we did not make those decision overnight. We pondered over it, spent sleepless nights and perhaps shed buckets of tears to come up with a plan that would work well for the entire family and giving the bubba the best care we can possibly give.

So, instead of “criticizing” those who choose what we don’t want to choose, or can’t choose to do, let's resist the urge to criticize and give "advise".  Let's have empathy, share our stories, learn from each other without imposing, support each other as women and as parents.  

Moms these days deal with super high standards that who knows who has set (our selves probably?), and because of that innate desire to become that "perfect" mom, be feel the pressure and sometimes lash our frustration on others.  Well, let's just stop!

Because really, there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.

This funny (but semi-true) video created by formula brand Similac has grown viral showing how ridiculous mommy wars can get. So sharing this video to every parent I know...So here you go:

PS:  The toughest mommy war I am dealing actually is with myself.  But then again, that's an entirely different story :)  Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Random Thoughts of A chaotic mind on a midweek...

With its galloping grace and elegant arched necks, fine silky mane and tails, horses are an epitome of elegance. (Methinks). A horse suggests refinement, power, beauty and grace; attributes I wish to emulate. 

But since becoming a mama, I am now more drawn to becoming a duck.  Yes from a horse to a duck! Lol! Have you seen a duck swimming in a pond? Calm and collected.  It seems to be swimming without any effort, but under the water it’s kicking its duck feet very hard.  So now, I try to be a duck, trying to look calm in the surface, but behind the scene I paddle like there’s no tomorrow.  I guess any mom can relate, you may be a working mom or a stay at home mom, being a mama is a serious business that requires hard work but it is indeed very intangibly rewarding.

So while I try to become that calm and collected duck like the one above.  I have a funny feeling I look like this ruffled duck below.  But this would change (I hope!). I will share with you some tips once I have mastered the calm and collected duck look ;)

PS:  Hey, I did warn you these are random thoughts of a chaotic mind ;)  Have a good week ahead everyone! J

photos from :blackmamba.wordpress.com,google search,flicker.com

How do you catch time?

time flies, time zooms...the only way I know how to stop it - take a picture of it

I guess I can now relate to the irony of this statement.  “The days are long but the years are short.”  It seems like only last week when we first set foot in this country, but now it’s November, in a month or so, the year will be over.  Whew! Time flies indeed.

We get caught up with the daily to-dos and the list never gets cleared, it keeps getting longer. The time and things just pass by in a blur, and then we wake up a year older.  Now that I’m a mama, I’m becoming more emotional.  I want to capture every moment and experiences I have with my little family.  I want to snap photos of my toddler who is beginning to have his feisty personality shine.  And when I capture an adorable antic of his, I become that proud mama, ready to share to the whole world how amazing my little boy is.  And at times, I just want to keep it to myself and freeze that special moment I share with my toddler. 

There is no stopping time.   It flies whether you are having fun or not.  The choice is yours.  And I want to consciously take an effort to make the right choice.  Time well spent, a life well-lived.  It's never easy amidst the busyness of life, but it's never an impossible feat.  

How about you, how do you catch time?

Snapshots from my weekend with my family.

went for a crochet tutorial session after Saturday field ministry and I made my first granny square, yay!!!
hopefully beanies and scarves for the little one soon ;)

caught the little one rummaging through my bag, he found an apple :)

barefoot at the park after the meet....

lovers at Cornwall Park ;) 

Long Weekend - Cuteness Overload

My weekday starts today!  Well actually it officially started yesterday, but Tuesday I work from home so I still call it a week off albeit working. (Working in your night gown still feels like a holiday J)And since I did not have to go to work on Monday being Deepavali replacement holiday that fell on a Saturday, I had a long weekend I spent with the boys. 

It was pretty good.  We planned to have it lazy, but it turned out to be busy.  Busy in a good way.  I was able to plan the week’s menu, gone to the market and did the grocery.  We have attended the weekend service and participated as a family in the field ministry. 

We took the little munchkin to Orchard Road hoping to catch the glittery lights that they usually put up around this season.  The munchkin is now into anything glittery and shining lately.  Unfortunately, the lights are not up yet, so we spent the time just walking about and of course, me taking gazillion photos of the munchkin.

Cuteness Overload!!!

And yes, we also discovered that the munchkin has 2 emerging teeth.  The first time parents were so excited! J If only he would be still and cooperate for a minute I would have taken a photo of his new little teeth.

So along with cuteness overload, I had a some side dish of cheesiness too.  Posted these two captions in my FB page.  

Ahhh to be in love and cheesy J

Hope you all had a good long weekend too!  Here’s to a fruitful week everyone!

T Time

Tummy time is important.  Tita Doc back in the Philippines has constantly reminded as why LO should have more tummy time.  Now Doctor K is saying the same thing.

Supervised tummy time (that is during baby's waking hours) is important to help babies to push up and eventually crawl.  The muscles of the neck, shoulders, arms and torso are strengthened during this exercise.  This will help prepare your baby for major developmental milestones such as rolling over, crawling, standing up and eventually walking.

 

 

 While some babies enjoy being put on their tummy, some babies for whatever reason just don't like it.  And so the tummy time, becomes torture time.





 I wish we could make tummy time a more enjoyable experience for the poor little fellow.  We are working hard on that.

Could this be the reason why he does not like tummy time?  Bad hair day! 

After T Time, I am sporting a Donald Trump hairstyle!!!



Does your little one enjoy tummy time? Or does he wail like he is being tortured and melts mommy's heart?  How do you make tummy time enjoyable for the little one?

Please share your thoughts.

50 days and counting...

If we are facebook friends, you might have noted my 365days project.  Every day for the last 50 days, a week after we resumed our "lives" here in Singapore, I have posted a picture of the little one.

I often find myself smirking when I used to see facebook pages of new parents flooded with cute pictures of their little one.  Little did I know that one day, I would be eating up my words.  Having this preconceived notion in mind of how other people might feel if you happily posts pictures of your little one until there is no tomorrow, I even have to have a shout out disclaimer in my FB page.

 

It garnered quite a number of likes, so I take it as a lot of people out there, not just parents understands my sentiments.  And on I happily posts LO pictures.

Well, the most basic reason why I posts pictures of LO's milestones and his not so significant "milestones" is because we are on this "long-distance grandmother/aunt/uncle/cousins relationship" , and online is the only way we can connect and share.  Oh yes there is that occassional phone calls, but online is fast and efficient. 

And with constant reminders from family back home, then I have to oblige ;)

Well, of course I would be lying if I said my online sharing is just about family requests back home. I don't mind if friends get a peek into our lives.  And besides  LO's pictures get more “likes” than pictures of my new shoes or any what not activity I am into, so I guess my friends appreciates LO's pics too.

But having said all these, I do acknowledge the "consequences" of online sharing.  I do have very strict privacy settings and I often review my online friends (monthly that is and not because you are a friend of a friend would mean that I would be accepting your friend request!).  But then again, I do maintain a blog to express myself and nurture my passion of being a writer  a frustrated writer.   I guess this topic would be an entry of its own.  Let me think this through until I finally firm up my stand on this. watch out for this blog post!

So I guess I would continue posting and complete my 365days project even if I'm running out of LO's pose to post (pun intended :D).  And then maybe after that, a photo of  significant milesones here and there, until LO would start laying the ground rules like

...Mom you can't post that picture!....
...Mom you can't blog about that!.....
...Mom you can't tell people about this!....

unitl then, allow me to be just one proud mama.

How about you, do you posts pictures of your little one?

My little gremlin

I don’t know if you can recall, but there was this horror comedy  movie back in the 80s of an imaginary cute and cuddly furry creature called a Mogwai.  It was a story of a boy who was given these three little cute Mogwais as a Christmas present from his father.  He has been given 3 instructions which he has to strictly follow regarding the care of these Mogwais.  The boy inadvertently breaks 3 important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town.

The hubby and I, have our own version of the little Mogwai.  He is simply the cutest, most adorable little fellow.

 

We also have 3 strict rules to follow in the care of our little “Mogwai”.

1.      He has to be well fed.  Delayed feedings spells out disaster!

 

2.      He should be dry.  Leave him with wet or soiled diaper and be sure that all hell breaks loose!

3.      He has to have his afternoon nap, if not; you’re in for big trouble!

Unfortunately, yesterday afternoon on our trip to Singapore ICA to collect his long-term pass ID, not only did we break rule number 3 (as our appointment was 3 pm and we have to travel a long way thus we have to leave the house early and so he missed his afternoon nap), rule number 2 was also unintentionally broken when we were on the way home inside a moving train! 

And so, in the evening, when the hubby and I are spent for the day and are just too eager to lay our backs flat on the bed, this cute little “Mogwai” transformed into a Gremlin!!!

 

And you can just imagine what transpired through the night.

Ah the joys and challenges of parenthood. :)

 

This Momma wants to be pretty, so sue me!

Any mother would attest to this fact.  Having kids changes your life.  It’s not so much about you anymore.

After nine months of carrying all that weight (well I only get to carry mine for about 7 months, but still, it is some weight you got to carry there!), it seem like your body will never be the same again.  Not feeling great about our post-baby figures will lead us to wearing unflattering clothes, just so to hide the bulge.

Much as you want to spend an hour getting ready in the morning and look “put-together” when you leave the home, with a baby, it’s really a mighty feat.

But don’t get me wrong.  Being a mother is amaaaazing, but it isn't always glamorous.  Long gone are days where you aimlessly wander through the malls looking for that perfect dress.  And that weekend mani and pedi and the occassional hair-color....Ha!  Those are things of the past.

Getting ready is now more of efficiency, get things done in the shortest possible time, rather than leisure and luxury.  But this momma refuse to be frumpy!  Why?  Because whenever I am dressed, with a little touch of make up and hair nicely done, it changes my mood.  I feel happier and more energized. 

And I believe that a happy mommy is equal to a happy daddy and a happy baby!  So I am taking a stand.  I am fighting the frump. 

Here are some of the ways I am doing it.

Taking extra effort to at least come up with a stylish assembly of clothes.  I am never blessed with a knack for fashion, but I can safely say I can manage to pull an almost put-together look with extra effort.  That is one of the reason why I try my bestest to prepare my clothes for the week.  Most stylish women often give that advice and I am doing my mighty best to follow.  And thus the inspiration to visit polyvore more often as you can see from this post and another from this post.

Putting on a little make-up.  With only about 3 to 5 hours of sleep that I have at night,  waking up looking fresh and bright is only wishful thinking.  But with the help of cosmetics, I can pass on looking normal.

Now that I am a momma, I scout the drugstore and make use of these wondeful finds.  I find them equally effective but not equally expensive.

Olay foaming cleanser, Olay Total Effects day cream, BB creams from the ETUDE house,
the small bottle is tea tree essential oil from bodyshop
and of course the ever trusty Oral-B dental floss

I use Johnson's baby milk lotion not because  J&J is paying me to endorse (I wish!!!)
But I really find it very light but moisturize effectively

 

I know a lot of ladies swear to the MAC Studio fix, and I do too.  I have been a satisfied user for 2 years, but just this year, I tried to find "cheaper" alternatives.  So I have in addition to the BB cream from the ETUDE House, I bought this girly compact powder plus the water color blusher in No. 1 Pink.  Well so far these products haven't disappoint.

 

 

 

 

Looking good goes together with smelling good.  So I keep myself sweet smelling by spritzing a little of Davidoff Cool Water for women that the hubby and I bought last year. Since it's small that's the reason why I often use this, I can carry it with me anywhere for retouch.

 

And of course, the basics of eating healthy and exercising should be incorporated.  I know easier said than done especially on the exercising part.  I am working on that. :)  Plus never forget to hydrate, hydrate and hydrate.  Drink lots of water, its good for you.  And lessen the caffeine. Another easier said than done for me ;).

These are the little things I do that makes big difference in my feeling and looking less frazzled and frumpy. 

How about you momma, care to share some tips on avoiding the frumpy mommy look?





 

Hazy Days in Singapore - a mother's worry

Every year between the months of May through October, haze falls upon Singapore.  This is caused by transboundary smoke from land and forest fires. These annual fires are caused mainly by land clearing and “slash and burn” agricultural practices in Indonesia, particularly Sumatra and Kalimantan. This year we hit the record high of 401 PSI (Pollutants Standard Index) and we don't know if it would still climb. Or until when this unhealthy range stays on. And according to the National Environment Agency of Singapore, this is hazardous level.  



                                          

PSI Value	Air Quality Descriptor
0 - 50	Good
51 - 100	Moderate
101 - 200	Unhealthy
201 - 300	Very unhealthy
Above 300	Hazardous

 

 

Bright and sunny Singapore skyline which normally looks like this

 

 

Is now transformed into some ghost town, a scene straight out from a creepy movie :(

 

With the haze around, it can result in eye, nose and throat irritation.  People with history of sinus problems or sensitive nose are more likely to develop nasal congestion, sore throat and coughing.  There may be increase occurrence of skin irritations as well for those with eczema and other skin conditions. 

Children are more vulnerable to respiratory problems should the haze persists due to the fact that they have faster breathing rates and that their lungs are still developing. :( 

Now, if it's just me and the hubby, I would not worry that much.  But with the little one around, worry meter is up 100x.  We have done the necessary precaution of staying indoors and closing all the windows, but still my worry meter hasn't lowered down a notch.  I am just hoping and praying that this would be over soon.
 

Here are some precautions I gathered from the Health Foodies Singapore FB Page:

The haze in Singapore is creating several breathing ailments. One of the things your body does is build up mucus in the breathing tract as it tries to fight the pollution. It is the mucus that can become infected and result in illness. Her...e are some ideas to help your body deal with it naturally:

1. Add generous amounts of ginger, cayenne pepper, horseradish, onion and garlic to your diet. These herbs help your body to break up the unhealthy mucus in your lungs. You can use up to 3tsp a day of cayenne. Sprinkle on food if you love the heat, or dissolve in water and drink it.

2. Add a few drops of rosemary oil to a humidifier and spend 10 minutes a day breathing over it with a towel over your head until your lungs feel clearer. Rosemary oil vapor dilates the bronchial tubes which relieves congestion by breaking up unhealthy mucus. You can also boil up eucalyptus and mint leaves and inhale the vapor.

3. Drink plenty of water regularly. Good hydration allows all organs, including the lungs, to refresh themselves by staying moist and flushing out toxins. 2-4 glasses upon rising, followed by a glass of water every 90 minutes throughout the day is recommended.

4. Avoid mucus-forming foods such as dairy, meat, eggs, white flour, sugar.

5. Increase your intake of green tea. Green tea contains EGCG, an antioxidant that protects lungs from cellular damage.

6. Increase intake of vitamin C, D and E supplements. These are powerful antioxidants. Look for products containing 15,000 IU of mixed carotenoids, including beta-carotene. Try and find supplements that are made from natural sources, not synthetic ones.

7. Be extra vigilant about washing your hands and brush your teeth at least twice a day. Rinse mouth and gargle with 1tsp natural salt in warm water. Avoid touching escalator rails, public door handles etc.

8. If you do yoga, practice Pranayama - yogic breathing and cleansing exercises. Do this indoors for now, and when the haze clears do it a lot outdoors.

9. Increase your intake of fresh fruits and vegetables, notably broccoli, oranges, corn, carrots, mushrooms, onions, apples, tomatoes, fennel, berries, grapes, spinach, garlic. Raw is best!

10. Cordyceps and Reishi mushrooms. These Chinese medicinal mushrooms are useful in promoting optimal respiratory efficiency and protecting against lung diseases.

11. Use a neti pot with a salt and water solution daily to rinse out the nasal cavity. Use a third of a teaspoon to 2 cups warm water. Use daily.

12. Try out fennel, flax and fenugreek tea, a strong lung protector. Recipe here: http://www.naturalnews.com/030842_fenugreek_large_intestine.html

13. Take a teaspoon of raw or Manuka honey 3 times a day. Let it dissolve in your mouth and slide down the throat. It relieves dry throat and is a powerful protector.

14. Limit outdoor exercise and exhertion until the haze clears.

 Please avoid outdoor activities, drink lots of water and stay safe Singapore!

 

What happens to couple time

Lately, most of our activities revolve around this little one.  Feeding, cleaning the poop, dressing him up, trying to get him to sleep and the list goes on and on…

source of our stress, but source of our greatest joy as well

 So what happens to “couple time”?  I am a firm advocate of that.  I honestly believe how essential alone time together is.  Amidst our busy lives, we become disconnected, stressed and even lonely when we do not make this a priority.

But given our situation where we live in a fast-paced city with no help, alone time together is a luxury we could not afford (as of now only I hope).  But that doesn’t stop us to plan and thankfully execute date nights.  Even dinner out or a stroll in the park, we count that as date night.  We are shallow like that ;)

After months, hubby and I have finally resumed our date night Fridays J Yay!!! But what makes it more fun, is that we have a little guy that tags along.

Two Friday’s ago at Pizza Hut Bukit Panjang Plaza, enjoying a cheesy trio pizza while the little guy looks on

Pizza Hut's yummy cheesy trio...try it!!!

                                              What was left of our date night dinner last Friday

                           Too busy to take the before picture while it was still whole and intact.

 

                      We had the chili crab at this Halal Restaurant at the Park near our place. 

Rasa Istimewa C2K Restaurant - The Makan Place @ CCK Park

And of course the tag-along who is the star of the show.  Fist clenched, as if saying to dad and mom, I want a taste of that crabby too!

he completes our threesome Fridays! :)

Couple time may have to take a backseat for now because we need to tweak the date night a teeny weeny bit.  I guess that’s what urban parenting is all about. Hahaha!  But then again I don’t mind having the tag-along, tag along with us.  Happy hubby + happy mommy = happy baby. 

How about you mommies, how do you get to spend couple time?

 

The Great Singapore Sale – How motherhood changed me

Hear ye hear ye, shopaholics from the region and beyond.  It’s that time of the year again!  Oh yes I’m talking about the Great Singapore Sale!  It’s on from May 31^st till July 28.

With prices slashed up to 70% off its original prices at main shopping belts (READ Orchard Road!) and suburban shopping mall island wide, its eight weeks of fabulous shopping and indulgence of delectable offers!

But alas! Or should I say fortunately, motherhood has changed me.

This would have been how my loot would look like pre motherhood

 

 

Now, with new things added to our grocery list, I think twice before I do the splurge purchase. Oh I still love beautiful things, who doesn’t?  But I just simply visit the malls and find inspiration.  List it in my wish list, and say someday, someday.   :) 

But I few days ago while I was out malling with the hubby and LO at ION orchard, we happen to pass by H&M kidz, and I just couldn’t resist!

Here’s the loot:

H&M kidz for the little one :)

 Indeed motherhood has changed me, and I’m quite happy with the change ;)

For shopaholics across the region and beyond, refer to this site for more information.

http://www.greatsingaporesale.com.sg/s2013/index.html

Happy Shopping