Friday, January 23, 2009

Along comes February....

I’ve been thinking about love lately. Maybe I have spent too many of my few lazy evenings watching light-hearted romantic movies on HBO and then ……

With February just around the corner…. Ahhh… the briefest of months, the loveliest for some and the bitterest for others… In this tiny beautiful garden state, where an idyllic marriage of lush tropical verdure and modern urban living exist, when love is in the air and (in the malls), one cannot help but feel giddy during this season. And it doesn’t do much help either, if you are helping a friend search high and low for that ideal venue for a romantic dinner for two. My dear friend, no worries, it’s all in good humor. It is actually my pleasure ;-)

I am not a believer of St. Valentine’s Day, and no ‘amore’ to share the hype this season brings, but as what a good friend always teasingly remark about me “You are in love with love”. Well, probably he may be right, because I also think that 98% of the world’s adult population had individually, in one point in their lives been through “hell” and back in the name of amour. (Should someone prove my theory wrong, with statistical evidence backed by scientific data gathering, then I would review my hypothesis, otherwise I would stick to that conclusion.)

So having said all that, the question that plays shadows in my mind right now is, “Is love worth all the risk?” Love is a beautiful thing. There is something about love that makes the heavy down pour of the storm turn into drizzles of honey drops and gum drops. (The credit goes to my high school social studies teacher…. “Kung ang ulan ay puro tsokolate..o anong sarap ng ulan..” hehehe) The manifestations of love dazzles, delights and intrigues us. Have you ever noticed that people who are in love are sweeter, happier, nicer and more carefree?

But love also hurts, and that is where the risk comes in. Experiencing first hand, the pain that love inflicts, it seems not worth the risk it demands, we’d opt for autonomy. Freedom, we declare. But there is never an easy way to it. You cannot be wary about it nor approach it cautiously. It is merciless. It strikes both the na├»ve and the most brilliant minds, leaving them on bended knees with just one blow.

But no journey would ever be traverse without first taking a step. Love is a verb and requires action on our part. You did not stop learning to walk just because you fell down as a kid, did you? So, should we stop falling in love, because our hearts have been broken? I’ve learned somewhere along the way, that the risk of getting hurt is part of the price you have to pay for the privilege of loving another human being. To love and be loved will cost you – time, money and energy. You will lose pride and arrogance along the way too. I don’t know about you, but probably it’s the adventurous streak in me (but still waiting to be unleashed ;)), for I look at love as one of life’s grandest adventure. It’s laden with danger and risk, but it holds a lot of promise and possibilities.

For all that’s said about what love is or is not, the conclusion of the matter is; risking in love can be frightening as how an adage eloquently puts it, “once bitten, twice shy”. But I know that you will have to agree with me that it can also be exhilarating. You can opt for a more predictable existence or you a can take a leap of faith in love and immerse yourself in the waters of deepest joy or …sorrow? It’s your take.

To my happily married friends, my friends who are comfortably but blissfully in a relationship and to my slowly dwindling single friends …..

Live, let live and love…………….

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Zest for Life…

When I was younger, I have a clear picture of what I want, of things I want to accomplish, of goals I want to reach. The thought of being grown up and being able to do those things would bring a rush of excitement. It sparked a fire within that would never be extinguished. Call it passion, zest for life or a name by any other name, but it brings a spring in my every step.

Then, while traveling down the path of enlightenment and goal fulfillment, I found out there were detours, a lot I should say. Some I enjoyed; others I wish I never took.
I find myself in jobs and situations that if they are not literally killing me (spell long hours and toxic stress level); I find ways to accept them. After all; this job pays the bills right? I became complacent and this is when the flames of my fire begin to dwindle.

Have I been so deeply entrenched in laziness? Are my excuses valid or they are just my way of staying comfortable and not move out of the box I have painted? I look back on time wasted, on younger people, or people that I feel are more motivated or qualified and then I begin to feel lost. Complacency, laziness, settling for whatever is given to us, being scared to take risks, I know these are enemies of a life worth living.

Sad but true, I find myself in a rut of boredom and disinterest. I seem to lose my zest for life and feel tired, and unmotivated. I want to hide under the covers rather than face the day. Perhaps I’m feeling overwhelmed by work? (Nah, my work is so unchallenging), well maybe I am just plain bored with the routine of my daily life?

Well, at least having this realization just goes to show that the fire hasn’t been fully extinguished, the embers are still alive, (yes very much alive). And I am determined, to fan the embers until it will be ablaze. I know it’s a tough pursuit, but we’ll break it into smaller manageable steps. That’s how toddlers learn to walk, one small step at a time…
So wish me all the best J
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