Tuesday, October 2, 2012

We are expecting!

When I found out I was pregnant, it sent a flurry of emotions all over my body.  I felt nervous, excited, surprised, scared, delighted, overwhelmed all at the same time.  When the pregnancy test came out with two red lines, I was excited to tell the news!  But I was also hesistant because of this morbid fear that if I miscarry, I don't have to retract the announcement and save me from the unspoken or spoken sympathy that might be offered to me.  Yeah I told you its morbid :)  But anyways, we are on to our 13th week! Yay!  And according to experts and numerous articles I have read on the net, the likelihood of miscarriage has dropped significantly.

Since I have not let you in the news, allow me now to tell you how I find out about this little beanie inside me....

I was in denial stage.  My inner gut feel was seriously suspecting that I was pregnant. My period was delayed. Not just fashionably late but really late.  And I never missed a period.  But as I was on denial stage (with so many plans ahead, baby for this year was not really included, we were hoping for it to arrive by 2013), so I just blame it to stress and other stuff.
But then my gut feel did not stop nagging me, that I finally asked hubby to buy me a home pregnancy test kit.  I waited for a couple of days before I used it. Very early in the morning, first try two red lines.  Is this real?!? Did I follow the instructions correctly?  Hmmm I went back to sleep as I do not want to disturb hubby who is sleeping so soundly.  When I woke up again at 5:30, I used the remaining kit and did a test again.  2 red lines… This has to be it, I lay beside hubby and when he stirred I told him I was pregnant.  Though he was still a bit sleepy he looked silly happy when he heard the news.  I on the other hand was still unconvinced.
The following day, hubby and I went to the local pharmacy to buy another pregnancy kit.  2 red lines…And I asked hubby to use the other kit to test on him (hahaha I know it is silly, but I was not convinced, maybe his would also show two red lines LOL).  One red line for hubby, ok the kit is reliable.  And so that means that yes I am going to be a mommy soon! 
I was happy, but scared.  I “sms” my mom and sister and told them about the news.  I know they will relay to my brother and SIL.  Yes I am happy scared.  I know with this gift comes responsibilities.  I know that gone are the carefree days of mindless eating out, impulse shopping and on the whim travels.  I know we are entering a new chapter of our lives.  And soon we will take on a new role.  Yes we will become parents soon!  A little one would now depend his existence on his parents.  I am happy.  I am scared.  I am moody.  I am crazy, bursting into tears for no reason.  And I am also always hungry.   

But when I saw beanie (which by the way we have nicknamed Jasmon courtesy of my niece Reeze) for the first time, with his tiny hands as if waving to his parents and his heart beating, an unexplainable feeling of joy enveloped me.

I guess this is pregnancy, the good, the bad, the ugly.But yes, it is a truly beautiful experience that I am relishing now.
How about you, how did you find out you were expecting?


Dea said...

Hi Ranne! Congratulations! We're just two weeks apart. :) And we announced din on our 13th week. :)

Looking forward to more of your pregnancy posts. You and Beanie take care, okay?

ranne said...

Hi Dea,

Thank you! Congratulations to you too. I'm excited and scared all at the same time! I have mixed emotions....i can't wait to see my baby but at the same time got some "silly" apprehensions whether I will "grow up" to become a good mom :) Take care too. Enjoy pregnancy.

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