Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Lessons I learned from my bucket of tears


Last night I cried buckets.  Yes literally buckets.  When I woke up this morning I looked like a nasty bee had stung my eyes.  Well good thing I was working from home today, so no one would give me the weird look of why I looked that way.
So why did I waste precious tears last night?  I was simply being unreasonable.  At least there are three things I learned I should stop doing because it is simply a waste of time.  It is as if I am wasting away my life.
1.       Throw out of the window the fear of missing out.  I live far away from mom and my siblings.  Every time I see them together, hear stories of what they have been doing, I feel a stab of pain.  Sadness, envy or I am simply missing them? I don’t know…..  I feel I am missing out on a lot of things.  But when my mom, would asked me to leave Singapore for good and come back to the Philippines, I cannot right away say yes, because I fear I might miss out of the opportunity I have here.  It’s silly really.  This feeling of being anxious because we are missing out on something.  But no matter how hard we try to do everything, travel around the world or simply work and have fun all day long we just could not simply do everything.  Nobody can be at two places at the same time right?  So the lesson learned…This is the moment and place that you are in.  It may not be perfect, but this is your choice.  Make the most of it.  Take a deep breath; enjoy and savor the moment you have.  Be in the now. 

2.       Erase that picture of how you think life is supposed to be.  Goals and plans are good.  It gives you direction and focus.  And as what the law of attraction says, painting a mental picture of the things you want to achieve will cause the forces of the universe to conspire until ultimately you will get what you want.  While I don’t think this is all entirely an abracadabra formula, however we should strike a balance.  When I was younger I have a clear picture of what I want, of things I want to accomplish, of goals I want to reach.  I even knew that I wanted a house with white picket fences, not brown but white and dog to match it.  But fast forward two decades later, I live in an HDB flat, no dog, no white picket fences, but window grills to make sure I don’t fall off from the 12th floor of the 15th story building I am living.  But I do have a roof above my head, a comfortable bed and hot water for my early morning showers.  

Yes we discover detours along the way, a lot of detours.  And what we have envisioned things would be turns out to be how things are supposed to be in real life.   Lesson learned?  We cannot choose the music that life plays, but we can always adjust our dance step to go with the beat of the music being played.   

3.       You are not perfect. Nobody is so stop berating yourself for not being one.  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  Life is already hard as it is without you conniving with it.  As a wife, a full time career woman and wannabe blogger, I want to do everything.  I want to be able to deliver quality work.  I want to have a spick and span home.  I want to  cook fantastic dishes for hubby.  I want to do music and craft.  And on top of all these, I want to look polished and vibrant all the time.  So what happens to me?  I end with my bee stung eyes, running nose and disheveled hair.  Lesson learned?  Love yourself and be proud of what you do.  Own your mistakes and be proud of it.  Why? Because it simply shows you are trying. 

How about you, any lessons learned from your silliness lately?  At least we learned yah? That’s what’s important.

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